Coming Clean

Many of you are probably too young to remember the TV commercials for laundry detergent where women in flowered cotton dresses are hanging out their laundry on a sunny morning. But, the cheerful, rosy faces hid an ugly, dirty truth. Those women were ruthlessly scrutinizing the laundry of their neighbours. Were their neighbours' whites dazzling? Or did telltale stains and dinginess betray the other homemakers' carelessness? A glance at one's own sparkling and unsullied clothes brought immense satisfaction and even sanctimoniousness. After all, cleanliness is next to godliness.

I have to admit I love hanging clothes out on the line! I often didn't have neighbours in my clothesline days, so I couldn't compare my laundry to others, but I do have definite clothesline snobbery. There is a precise order in which clothes are to be hung. A proper placement for every clothespin.

I also LOVE to do laundry. But that's another story.

There is a story circulating that bears repeating. It makes the point I am getting at. (I do have a point.)

A couple moved into a new neighborhood. The first morning, while they are eating breakfast, the woman saw the neighbor hanging up the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs another laundry soap."

The husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbour would hang out the wash, the  woman would make the same comment.

About a month later, the woman was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband,

"Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

Her husband said, "I got up early this morning and washed our windows."

Many of us would immediately think of Matthew 7: 3. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (NIV) I think this little story explains the verse well, but also takes it to another level. The poor neighbour lady was being judged for something she was not guilty of--her laundry WAS perfectly spotless. The criticizing woman was looking through the dirty lens of her own faults.

I said I'd never do this, go all preachy and philosophical on my readers. A little of the latter is okay, the former, not at all. So, with no further explanation, I'll leave it there for you to ponder.

Nellie the Kid and a New Little Miss

Today was Day 2 of our  2013 branding season, and our competent crew branded, castrated, tagged, and vaxed 213 calves.

You may remember "The Kid," who wrote two posts for me back in the winter. She's a lovely young lady who enjoys her work here on the ranch. Today, she was game for expanding her skills... and made the leap from tractor driving and ear-tagging to becoming a real cowgirl.

She's always considered the cowboy crew to have a somewhat cushy job, ambling through fields on horseback, meandering along quiet streams, chewing the fat in amiable comaraderie, only pausing now and then to check on a cow or calf.

The Kid has changed her tune. And her name. She's now Nellie the Kid. First of all, she helped gather the cattle this morning. With a little encouragement and several days of practising on the "dummy" in the barn, she was ready to cowgirl up.

Setting up a loop.

The first calf she roped slipped the loop and darted away before anyone had a chance to applaud.

Setting up a loop again.









Bucky, Nellie's horse, got a excited and did a little polka. Unfortunately, this calf had already been tagged and branded. Had to be released and Nellie went to try again.

After a few more loops, okay, after a LOT more loops, we had a fresh calf and one VERY happy cowgirl. She had a grin as wide as the Peace River!

I going to guess Nellie the Kid won't stand for staying on the farm crew now that she's gone and diversified. We're all proud as can be of her... and she's only going to get better. Better watch out, boys!

Today we welcomed another young lady to our branding... Sweet little Radeyah, at just THREE DAYS OLD, slept right through the bellowing and commotion. Could be she's another cowgirl in the making. Congratulations to Bree and Dale!

Beavers and Bears and Bogs! Oh, my!

Last Saturday, I asked The Cowboy if he'd like some company as he went to the north-west corner of the ranch to check fences. You know what he said.

I got an old pair of his Wranglers. Faded and worn thin, they were too long for me, so I rolled them up three or four inches. Got my muck boots. (Good thing I did!) A couple of t-shirts and an old snap shirt of The Cowboy's and I was set to go. Oh, and my camera.

The fences hadn't been checked for a while, so we anticipated plenty of mending to keep the cows and calves from wandering out onto Crown Land. We had wire, staples, pliers, a hammer, a chainsaw, and the rifle. We loaded up the quad in the horse trailer and we were off. Sunny and warm, it was a lovely day.

I refused to ride down this hill -- and many others -- on the quad. This picture doesn't do justice to the steepness, although The Cowboy would say, "That?? It's just a tacky little hill."

We covered miles, stapling up wire and cutting out trees that had blown down over the fence. Eventually, we came to the Beaver Ponds.

The grass under our feet was matted down where a bear sow and two cubs had bedded down. 

A snipe in the reeds.

We'd left the quad behind, on the other side of a beaver channel, to look at the ponds, but The Cowboy went back to get the quad, so we could continue following the fence. He left me with the gun and the camera. I saw flora I hadn't seen for years: wild columbine in bloom. Solomon's seal. Huge alders, birch, and bam cottonwood. And of course, the wild roses were in bloom.

I couldn't stop thinking of the fresh bear sign, though, and a she-bear with cubs, at that. I sang "The Song that Never Ends," knowing that would keep any wild beast away, but after singing it about thirty times, I was still spooked. I went back to where the The Cowboy had devised a way to get the quad over the beaver channel linking two ponds. 

A "corduroy" bridge made of rotten, water-saturated logs. 

Mile after mile, we walked or rode, pushing through the brush and timber and circling around a mudslide, until the fence proved too damaged to repair. We'd had days of rain, and there was plenty of mud to challenge the quad. We came to a boggy section, and I thought I could walk through it, since the quad had had no problems. It was not to be. I was sucked down into the quagmire. Cold, dirty water overflowed into my boots. I was in mud up to my ankles. Then, to add insult to humiliation, I fell  into the sticky gumbo. 

Fortunately for me, the camera was firmly in my pocket, not with The Cowboy, who was over on dry ground roaring with laughter at my struggle to keep my boots on and escape the mire. 

After that, I drove the quad for a while, while The Cowboy sawed through downed trees and brush, until the trail became too steep for my (very) limited abilities and confidence level. The Cowboy took over, climbing a nearly perpendicular hill, looking for an ancient and overgrown logging road. I walked behind, looking for things to photograph, trying to ignore the "squish squish" of my boots. I came to the deserted quad. He was out of sight, looking for a way through the timber. 

I looked around for something to photograph. In a tree, not 30 feet away, was a black BEAR!

Think, think. What did we learn in our Wildlife Safety Course? Make noise. Put the quad between me and the bear, but he didn't appear predatory or defensive, just curious. So, I reached for my camera, but my hands, inside my muddy work gloves wouldn't cooperate. Okay, maybe I should get the rifle instead. No, the camera. Finally, I chose the only option left. I screamed.

"There's a bear! Come back! Come back!"

The Cowboy did, hollering and waving his arms, and the bear slid down the tree and ambled off into the trees. 

The cow/calf pairs in the field east of our adventure.

We were mud to the eyebrows. My jeans were caked to my boots, my gloves to my hands. Leaves, sticks, mud in my hair. We were both filthy, sweaty, and hungry, but happily full of good memories of hard, dirty, honest work, enjoying creation, and being together. 

I can't wait to go again.

Queen of the Ranch

It's been a long spell since I last posted. Spring did eventually arrive; the snow melted, the gardens have been planted, the crops have been seeded, and there are calves and foals galore! We've gone to several brandings already, and we hope to go to one on Sunday, if it stops raining. I am mowing the grass several times a week and can barely keep up.

A friend shared this article with me last week, and as I read it, I found myself chuckling, nodding my head, and agreeing out loud. Maybe it's the ranch life, the country air, or the cowboy code, but whatever it is, I know there are farm and ranch wives everywhere who will join the chorus of, "YES, this is our life!"

*********
If you are going to be the woman on the ranch, here are the top 10 "facts" you need to know!

1. Always load your horse last in the trailer so it is the first one 
unloaded. By the time he's got his horse unloaded, you will have your cinch pulled and be mounted up ready to go - lessening the chance of him riding off without you with your horse trying to follow while you are still trying to get your foot in the stirrup.                      

2. Never - and I repeat never - ever believe the phrase "We'll be
right back," when he has asked you to help him do something out on the ranch. The echoing words, "this will only take a little while" have filtered through generations of ranch wives and still today should invoke sincere distrust in the woman who hears them.

3. Always know there is NO romantic intention when he pleadingly asks you to take a ride in the pickup with him around the ranch while he checks waters and looks at cattle. What that sweet request really means is he wants someone to open and close the gates.

4. He will always expect you to quickly be able to find one stray in a four-section brush-covered pasture, but he will never be able to find the mayonnaise jar in four-square feet of refrigerator. 

5. Count every head of everything you see - cattle especially, but sometimes horses, deer, quail or whatever moves. Count it in the gate, out the gate or on the horizon. The first time you don't count is when he will have expected that you did. That blank eyelash-batting look you give him when he asks "How many?" will not be acceptable.

6. Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive a pickup to suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the feed off the back of the pickup. If he is on the back and you are driving, the opportunity for constant criticism of speed, ability and your eyesight will be utilized to the full extent. "How in the *@*# could you NOT see that hole?"

7. Never let yourself be on foot in the alley when he is sorting cattle horseback. When he has shoved 20 head of running, bucking, kicking yearlings at you and then hollers "Hold 'em, hold 'em" at the top of his lungs, don't think that you really can do it without loss of life or limb. Contrary to what he will lead you to believe, walking back to the house is always an option that has been used throughout time.

8. Don't expect him to correctly close the snap-on tops on the plastic refrigerator containers, but know he will expect you to always close every gate. His reasoning, the cows will get out; the food will not.

9. Always praise him when he helps in the kitchen - the very same way he does when you help with the ranch work - or not.

10. Know that when you step out of the house you move from the "wife" department to "hired hand" status. Although the word "hired" indicates there will be a paycheck that you will never see, rest assured you will have job security. The price is just right. And most of the time you will be "the best help he has" even if it is because you are the ONLY help he has.

                                    ***************

A few weeks ago, The Cowboy came in and told me to get some clothes on--I was wearing a skirt and blouse. We were going to go "for a drive," he said. We drove along Road 1, and I thought we'd be checking on the calves. But, we drove right on by the fields of cows and heifers. We turned south on Road 2. Alleluia! We're going to check on the 80 mares and see how many colts and fillies have been born. As we passed by the entrance to the horse field, I began to get a sinking feeling. 

And sure enough, we came to a field being disced, readying it for seeding. The Cowboy wanted me to drive the (manual) one ton pickup while he drove the big, green tractor to another field. I don't do well with that pickup. We are mutually incompatible. Especially if I have to drive over hills and hollows and through muck and mire. But it was either drive the pickup or drive the big, green tractor. I did get the truck moved from Point A to Point B, without mishap, and without a tear. I will admit that I did put on a bit of a pout. 

He took me pistol shooting one day. "Get some clothes on," he said. (Wearing anything besides Wrangler jeans is a state of undress, as you will have figured out by now.) We did check on the calves, then out came the pistol. I'd never shot a firearm in my life. Ever. I took five shots. And hit the coffee can five times. No pouting that day. 

To all my Queen of the Ranch friends, get some clothes on. There's an adventure waiting!

Cow Manure and Cow-pie Cookies

Although today is cool again, and snow is again (still) in our forecast, there are signs of spring everywhere. There's a tinge of green along the edge of the well-house, water is flowing along the ranch roads, and the probability of miring the tractor in mud is high. The cawing of crows and the honking of north-flying geese fills the air.

The brood mares and the bulls are getting their hooves trimmed as I write. Calving will begin on April 20 and foaling two weeks after that.

Earlier this week, the second-calf heifers needed a booster vaccination. And because a couple of heifers had displayed symptoms of a suspected affliction, stool samples had to be procured from a random twenty animals.

It was my job to label the "specimen" bags with the numbers from each heifer's ear tag. Easy enough.  It was The Cowboy's privilege to don the shoulder length plastic gloves and obtain the sample. Needless to say, we were both well spattered with the aromatic brew by the time we were done.

Cattle doing what they do best.

A 1000 pound beef animal will produce between 50-80 pounds of excrement a day. We have about 3000 cows and horses on the ranch. That's a lot of fertilizer! It's spread out on the pastures, adding nitrogen, phosphorus, oxygen, hydrogen, carbon to the soil, along with weed seeds (bad) and undigested organic matter (good). Well-rotted manure is as good as gold to the farmer or rancher.

After showers had set us all to rights again, I remembered I needed to bake something to take to quilting the next morning. At that very moment -- isn't Facebook amazing? -- a friend posted a recipe. I whipped it up, because it was easy, quick, and yummy. It wasn't until later that I realized the irony.

Cow-pie Cookies.

The recipe has been around a long time and has a variety of other names. Preacher cookies, because you can throw them together when you see the dust of the preacher's car as he's coming up the lane for an unexpected visit. Moose Droppings, although they don't resemble any moose droppings I've ever seen. And No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies. Boring. Whatever you choose to call them (and I like Cow-pie Cookies the best), here's the recipe.

1/2 c butter

2 c sugar

1/2 c milk

4 tbsp cocoa

1/2 c peanut butter

3 1/2 c quick cooking oats

2 tsp. vanilla

Add the first 4 ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to a rolling boil, and boil for 1 minute. Stir in the next 3 ingredients and drop onto wax/foil paper. Let cool until set. Makes 2 to 2.5 dozen.

It was a delicious and sweet end to a day that started out with an unpleasant, but necessary task. I would love to add a philosophical and platitudinous comment about how to get on with life when manure happens, but I know it's never as simple as making a batch of cookies. Hang on to that last knot in the rope. This, too, shall pass.

If winter comes...

It's that time of year.

We've come to expect snickers and murmurs of sympathy from our southward neighbours as they plant tomatoes and cucumbers, while our gardens still slumber under three feet of hard-as-concrete winter precipitation. We endure the jokes about having barbecues in shoulder deep snowdrifts, and then discarding our parkas and Baffin boots to dive into holes chopped in the lake. We know about the head-shaking, the barely-held-back laughter.

Yes, it's spring.

It says so on the calendar, yet the Weather Network announces that today it is -18C with a windchill of -27. The Cowboy is out ploughing snow. Again. Still.

Nevertheless, it is spring.

I took this photo yesterday, at the community hall about three miles away. It was -9C. But for these children, the day holds nothing more than a last half-hearted gasp of winter's icy breath. They've tossed their coats, hats, gloves. It is spring, after all.

This photo was taken March 28, 2011. The gate to the road was five feet deep in snow.

One of my favourite photos of the thousands I have, taken May 22, 2010. Yes, May. The leaves were out, grass was green, new babies were everywhere, and fifteen inches of snow fell. We had family come to visit us, and about an hour before they arrived, the power failed. We spent three days playing cards by candlelight and slept with extra blankets on our beds. We cooked almost every meal on the grill. It was spring, after all, the time for cooking outdoors.

When Spring comes, she comes in a hurry, in the blink of an eye. Overnight, the snow melts, and a faint green blush appears in the timber and in the fields. The next day, it seems, we are mowing and planting and seeding and eating fresh lettuce from our gardens. Flowers bloom furiously and profusely.

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

For 85 glorious frost-free days, the greenness is intense and exquisite, very nearly as blinding as sun on snow. It is for those short days we live and dream and work and endure and bear up. And ironically, for many, the first flurries in the fall are welcomed, as they bring a time of putting up one's feet for a bit. Those lazy days don't last long. There's plenty to do.

We put up with the long, dark days, suffering from cabin fever that makes us cranky and sometimes a little squirrelly. Finally, when we can't take being holed up any more, right about now, we doff our winter gear and have a picnic. Go snowmobiling in shorts and flip-flops. Get out the barbecue and our bicycles. 

Why do we stay? people ask, if it's so miserable and long. The answer is simple: it is where God would have us for now. And maybe there's a little bit of insanity involved.

I had thought to hush the snickers and quiet the condolences, but I think I've only confirmed the legends of our northern-ness. So keep chuckling and making jokes and doubting our sensibilities. We are almost there.

“If winter comes, can spring be far behind?” 
― Percy Bysshe Shelley, Ode to the West Wind

My Life as a Piecemaker

Finally, a spare moment to sit down and write something!

I've been thinking about ranch wives or farm wives again, and in the last weeks, I've had plenty of opportunity to visit with some of my rural sisters at various cattlemen's social events. We've shared our frustrations and adventures and many of the myths that abound about us country ladies.

One of the first questions I'm often asked when someone finds out I live on a 30 000 acre ranch, is do I have a big garden. No, I don't, I say. A little garden, then? No, not even that, I answer.

With just two of us, there's really no need to plant 200 hills of potatoes or eight rows of beans. Yes, I'd love to have a pantry full of jewel-like jars of jam, fruit, relish, and tomatoes. I've known that feeling of satisfaction, of planting, watering, harvesting, then filling the shelves with the work of my hands and God's abundance, so that my family would have bellies filled with home-grown food in the snowy and blustery days to come.

Home Canning - Delicious Jewels. A joy to behold. 

As far as gardening goes, I do have a few containers of flowers that don't demand more than a little water, and they bloom their hearts out for me.

But beyond that, sorry, no gigantic vegetable garden. (And that being said, there ARE plenty of farm women who DO plant acres of peas and tomatoes. They have my wholehearted admiration.)

What do I do in my spare time and when I have a fragment of extra energy, when I'm not working in the barn or mowing or keeping The Cowboy happy? (And keeping him happy means baking a lot of cookies and pies, and just being happy myself.)

I read. I write. I quilt.

So, a little showing off...

A baby quilt for my sweet great-niece.

Table Runner - from fabric given to me by my sister, at least 10 years ago. I finally put something together.

My first queen size quilt, made with bits and pieces of purple and turquoise, nothing planned, but no two ponies alike.

This is called "flower pounding," or as dear Cousin Olav in Norway called it, "bonkeblomst."
I made each square with flowers and leaves from different families' gardens in Norway
and Sweden in 2002. I finally had time to put it together.
(Yet, still missing the words in the bottom square.)
This was one of my "souvenirs" from that trip. Better than ashtrays and spoons, I think.

Butterflies and Hearts quilt for Granddaughter T.

Rail Fence baby quilt for Granddaughter M.

Well, that's enough, I think. I hope you enjoyed seeing some of my quilts. And forgive me for not growing a huge garden.

Our lives are like quilts – bits and pieces, joy and sorrow,  

stitched with love.